I would like to thank my Father, Mother, Bob Dobbs, the Academy, The one-armed man who really killed my wife, Mr. Pibb, Dr. Pepper, Nurse Pepper (!!!!!! wow! she's great), Mr. Ed, The Entire cast of The Ten Comandments, that funky roman guy on the American Express cards, Tape, My little Metal Friend, My very own Uncle Buck, That fat kid who broke into my car (I'm still gonna' kick your ass when I find you you little fuck!!!!), The Guiness (ahhh BEER), The Schmuck who accepted me into college, The Schmuck who's paying for my college (Whoops, that would be me), The man behind the curtain (pay no attention to him), the Man in the Box, Vladmir Lenin, John Lennon, Gilligan, the Skipper too, the Millionaire and his wife, the Movie Star, the Professor and Mary Ann, My Underwear, My Pride & Joy®, My First Screw™, TV is God, Ren & Stimpy, THE SIMPSONS!!!! (espescially Homer), Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs, Beer, Jairo Maldanado, The People Throwing Rocks at me while I was Stealing Things, Once it goes in it never comes out again, BriOff, Fire, Combustion (also known as: FIRE), Stoich, The Hand (Ease up there Big Guy), the Handmaiden of Happiness (who visits all of you out there more lonely than I), Fudd (And Duff), The Doors, My 1976 IBM (it's True Blue!) 1.5 Gig hard Drive, my 1963 plymoth Valiant (Prince to you funky-cartoon buffs), The Tick!, Beer (Who can forget Beer??), Those Mines Goggles, The House of Moo Goong Hwa (and the evil looking guy and his sex slave), BILL GATES IS SATAN, and I can program better on a Mac than the Microsoft Goons (really!), The ultra-nifty-keen U.N. Kommercial, Krusty the Klown, Hired Goons!, OK, piss, which reminds me of Beer (ya' can't go wrong with Beer), Bacon Lettuce & Jesus (with Pig Boy), Fatty, Gettin 200% of my RDA of Colesterol in one sitting, Running my 200% Colesterol off in Combat Boots, Those mean guys in Blue Suits who harass me and Mr. Knife, US WORST, AT&T, Nohj the Dyslexic Viking, Unfrozen Caveman Janitor, I have to pee, Send Money (I have to say it sometime), Beer (you need money for Beer), Guns!, Knives!, Bombs!, Bile (Tastes like Chicken), Zoltan Zzytwitz (or Z Zzyzz who took Zoltan's place at the end of the Denver Fonebook), Mr. Pink (Why? Because you're a Fuckin' Faggot, that's why!, Quentin Tarentino, The trusting Chem fools who gave us Chemicals! (evil laugh cue: now), KMFDM, Led Zeppelin, & Frank Zappa, Marbalos (Yes it's a deliberate mizspelink), Snow, Skiing, Beer (What goes great with skiing? Beer!!!), 6 inches makes all the difference in the world, You don't want to see what's down my pants, Zeerios(also tastes like chicken), Fuck, Joe is squared, Flavored Assholes, Warm Fuzzys and Cold pricklys, Gus Likes Quickies, Method of Brad, Fuckin' Beard, Marx, We Want Shit, Partner Shits, I am not a BreadFan, Bite The Wax Tadpole, Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back from the Dead, Various Crap, Damn I hate Math!, Potted meat Food Product, SPAM, Treat, Vienna Sausages, Richard Nixon, I am the Walrus, The Dead, Beer (just 'cause I haven't mentioned it before), Sodium Silicate, Soviet Parties, Fuckshitdamn!, IRON, Morrisey Rides a Cock Horse, I steal, you steal, we all steal for MONEY! (for money for Beer of course.), Big Brother (There is no love except love for Big Brother, There is no Loyalty except loyalty to the party), She had that Camarillo Brillo, Flamin out along her head, I mean her Mendicino Bean-o, By where some bugs had made it red, She ruled the toads of the Short Forest, And every newt in Idaho, And every cricket who had chorused by the bush in Buffalo, She said she was a magic Mama, And she could throw a mean Tarot, and carried on without a comma, That she was someone I should Know, She had a snake for a pet, And an amulet, And she was breeding a Dwarf, But she wasn't done yet, She had gray-green skin, A doll with a pin, I told her she was awright, But i couldn't come in, (I couldn't come in right then...), And so she wandered through the doorway, Just like a shadow through the tomb, She said her stereo was four-way, And I'd just love it in her room, Well, I was born to have adventure, So I just followed up the steps, Right past her fuming incense stenture, To where she hung her castanets, She stripped away her rancid Poncho, An' laid out naked by the door, We did it till we were un-concho, An' it was useless any more, She had a snake for a pet, And an Amulet, And she was breeding a Dwarf, But she wasn't done yet, She had gray-green skin, A dog with a pin, I told her she was awright but I couldn't come in (Actually I was very busy then), And so she wandered through the dorr-way, Just like a shadow from the tomb, She said her stereo was four-way, An' I'd just love it in her room, Well, I was born to have adventure, So I just followed up the steps, Right past the fuming incense stenture, To where she hung her castanets, She said she was a magic Mama, And she could throw a mean Tarot, And she carried on without a comma, That she was someone I should know, (Is that a real poncho...I mean is that a mexican poncho or is that a Sears poncho? Hmmmm...no foolin?...) "Camarillo Brillo" by Frank Zappa Thanks for all of the attention and any time wasted in reading this. Wee allso apologyz fer annie myztipeng. Never forget the log. Peace. Joe Flores and Christian Sakanai. 9/18/95 at about 11:30 pm.
